Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lichia's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
11:43 am	So tired I have decided to give LiveJournal a bit of a rest for a while Things got a bit out of hand over the last few days, and I dont particularly feel as though I can put things on here for my friends to read at the moment. May come back to it in the future, but then again, may not! Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Friday, January 27th, 2006
2:25 pm	Vodka is the drink of Satan ... but still i drink it! OOOOOOHHHHHH dear. seems as though i shouldnt write in my LJ when im drunk and an emotional wreck Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: Trivium (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
12:39 am	Short and sweet badness has passed and all is calm and good in the world of chlo! YEY Just have to stop opening my big mouth at times ... people should really tell me when to shut up! Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
8:35 pm	OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. Honestly ... what do i do???? This is a chat on messenger me and chris have had today ... Loki says:? (6:48:13 pm) um... not sure how to word this, but becky has told me that before christmas you pretty much uninvited her to the rock night saying we needed time alone Loki says:? (6:48:30 pm) it really got to her, and now she doesn't know where she stands with you You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:49:38 pm) what???????????????? oh my god when the FUCK did i say that?i seriously have no idea when i said that and if i did i am seriously disgusted with myself You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:49:58 pm) jesus. i am a fucking bitch Loki says:? (6:50:20 pm) according to her, you may not have meant it badly, but that's the way she took it Loki says:? (6:50:31 pm) (p.s. you're not a bitch) You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:50:56 pm) shiiiiiiiiit im sorry. p.s i am! i had NO right to say that, and i cant believe i did!!!!!!! OH GOD Loki says:? (6:51:25 pm) she also feels that since you and me have patched things up, you haven't bothered to text her back and she's feeling seriously ignored You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:53:01 pm) oh god. cant believe ive been doing exactly what ive hated other people doing to me. fuck Loki says:? (6:54:11 pm) all she wants is a sincere apology and perhaps for you to start talking to her again - she's had more than her fair share of people turning their backs on her You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:55:28 pm) and by all means she will get that believe me. You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:56:17 pm) and she wouldnt get anything BUT a sincere apology Loki says:? (6:57:22 pm) unfortunately, it may now be too late. she just came in and read that you don't remember saying it You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (6:59:46 pm) k Loki says:? (7:00:12 pm) i don't know what to do. i'm now stuck in the middle again. You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:03:09 pm) im sorry for putting you in the middle chris, and im sorry i said that to her, and im sorry ive been an insensitive bitch, and im sorry thats its made you feel uncomfortable, and im sorry about not knowing how to go about telling her how so so sorry i am because i am royally, and seriously disgusted with myself Loki says:? (7:04:34 pm) i wish i knew how to fix it. there may still be a chance of you two being friends, but i doubt it will be anymore than just being okay with each other Loki says:? (7:06:21 pm) i just want everyone to get along, so please don't give up You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:08:55 pm) oh for fuck sake chris have a little faith in me please. do you really honestly think im gonna just brush this off and say fuck to it? i dont do that and you should know that! im just gonna have to seriously think about how i can patch things up coz i cant believe ive done this! Loki says:? (7:09:19 pm) i know, i'm sorry You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:10:38 pm) oh god Loki says:? (7:11:26 pm) i really wish i knew how to fix it all You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:12:41 pm) well its not your problem is it!!!!!!! Loki says:? (7:13:12 pm) yes, i'm in the middle. the welfare of both sides is on my mind You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:17:27 pm) im sorry chris. i didnt mean it, i just have no idea how to fix this. and im sorry i said that about us. at that point in time i was really confused about what was goin on ... and i messed up big style with one of the people i really never thought i would mess up with! Loki says:? (7:17:59 pm) it always happens when you least expect it You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:18:37 pm) huh, yeah Loki says:? (7:21:08 pm) i'm sorry i had to bring this up honey You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:21:10 pm) um, well ... im gonna go and bash my head against a few brick walls, and um ... decide how to try to fix this! You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:21:33 pm) coz i have no fucking clue at the moment and i hate myself right now Loki says:? (7:22:09 pm) don't hate yourself You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:23:21 pm) oh chris dont tell me not to coz i REALLY do. the fact that i cant remember saying it, the fact that i actually said it, and the fact that ive become a total and utter bitch to one of the only people who has been AMASING this lat year!\ Loki says:? (7:23:52 pm) well i can help to try and patch things up You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:24:52 pm) how? Loki says:? (7:25:55 pm) i can try to explain what was going on at the time, and the fact that you really don't recall why you said it - just a bit of smoothing You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:27:46 pm) and thats just gonna feel like i am backing down from the situation and using you as a go between coz i cant deal with it myself Loki says:? (7:28:16 pm) then i shall swear of meddling and allow it thinmgs to go as they will You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:31:14 pm) k. thing is i'd come up there now, but she has Linda and Anika around her and i couldn't handle it. i need to get her on her own, but she's probably going tomorrow Loki says:? (7:31:50 pm) yeah, i don't know when you can catch her You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:32:07 pm) exactly my predicament Loki says:? (7:32:15 pm) they're all in the living room atm Loki says:? (7:32:55 pm) i don't know. i really don't. You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:34:59 pm) well ... if you feel like you cant spend tomorrow night with me and the boys then i can completely understand Loki says:? (7:35:47 pm) yeah, i'll have to do some serious thinking about that... fuck. You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed! says:? (7:37:17 pm) im so sorry chris Loki says:? (7:38:55 pm) it's okay. i'm sure it'll be fine again What do i do? If i text her ... it'll seem insensitive, equally so if i dont text her and do nothing ... and i cant go round coz of the girls ... and OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD Current Mood: aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh Current Music: nothing, again (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
1:18 am	My Evil Plan Your objective is simple: World Domination Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure Stage One: To begin your plan, you must first Traumatize a Rock Star. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Demon Straight Out of Hell? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an Evil twin/Opposite? Stage Two: Next, you will Seize control of the White House. This will cause countless hordes of Supernatural Creatures to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Evil, as lesser men whisper your name in terror. Stage Three: Finally, you will Unleash your Horsemen of the Apocalypse, bringing about an End to Sanity. This will all be done from a Island of Mu, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god. Current Mood: devious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
11:55 am	La La La La La Well ... i have been a very very busy bee recently with uni work and stuff. Dear god, its just felt like i havent been able to stop and think about ne thing else, and its sorta driven me a bit mad! Well ... me and Chris are finally in the position with eachother that we had both hoped to be in at the beginning of October. Took another 3 months ... but we have finally managed it! There was NOTHING there on friday night, absolutely nothing, and its great! We even got hidiously drunk together and didnt flirt with eachother once! We were finally 'just friends' and it was great!!! Eventually got back to his, had a cuppa and i passed out on his fouton. HA. The bastard took a video of me sleeping. im not very exciting when i sleep to be fair, so its about 1.5mins of me with my eyes closed!hehe. The 2nd band of the night on friday were fucking wicked!!!!! Called The Crackers and ... oh my god. had the genius idea of maybe asking about getting them to play at our ball and have a blues night instead of a jazz one!! ne ways, cant think of ne thing else to write about really! may write more later! Current Mood: cold (Comment on this)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
12:27 am	well ... Well, after muchos talking to both Liam and Chris today i feel a little bit better about myself than i did when i woke up this morning! although i am still a bit lost in my own head. how ever much i dont want to be, the voices are still gonna be there, and they arent gonna go ne where for a while, but still, they are talking a little less loudly now, which is always a good thing. thing is...just really dont know whats up at the moment. everything i say seems to be getting sorted, or talked about, which is great, but ... i then sit down, and realise i am still not happy, but i just dont know why! its very very bizar and i dont like it much. think it really freaked me out about how drunk i actually got lastnight, coz from what people have told me, i pretty much had no control in what i was doing. and in a way, i feel like im gonna get like that every time i go out at the moment. My body is definately set to destroy, and ... nearly walking out infront of a car ... pretty much sums up that i want to destroy. i just cant help myself when i drink. i drink to forget things ... and last night i managed it without a shadow of a doubt, and its really freaked me out! Head fuck or what! CRAP! Current Mood: eek Current Music: MCR - Ghost Of You (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 15th, 2006
9:26 pm	Personality Disorder | Rating Paranoid: Moderate Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Very High Antisocial: Low Borderline: Very High Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Low Avoidant: Very High Dependent: Very High Obsessive-Compulsive: High (Comment on this)
8:30 pm	Oh fuck it fuck it fuck it How do i do it??? honestly, some one please tell me coz i am completely in the dark!!!! Last night was the most stupid night of my life, and i only have me to blame! Oh and Vodka!!! Oh ... and Chris! Made me and Carly THE best Spag Bol in the world Oh My God was it good!!!!! Wont go into too much detail coz its all very boring and cooking like, but ... hell yeah im impressed! Sorry, cant get over the fact that it was so good!!! And Carly said it was better than her mums! WOW Ne ways ... Last night was the first time since last saturday that i actually got pissed and my dials were set to self destruction, seriously, i was apparently on a mission to get as FUCKED as i possibly could, in a very short amount of time. Oh dear, that was a bad mistake. i was fine till we got the the party, apart from the fact that chris said that he was about to ask me if i wanted to just stay in coz i was already fucked but didnt cozi would have bitten his head off. Cant really remember much about the walk there, cant remember going in, remember talkin to some of the guys off my course and telling them about my relationship with Pippa, i know it wasnt much of a relationship but ... it was something! so they were well impressed with me for that, plus ... Sam is quite cute! um ... then for some odd and very very unknown reason i kissed Alex (2nd year Graphics) dont really remember how that happened, it just did and im very confused ocz its so unexpected! um ... i did a lot of mingling i think, cant remember who with exactly, but meh. um ... then went to sit with the guys and this is where pretty much everything goes very very hazy. And for this i have had to ask people about what happened! i spilt my drink that i had just poured all over my leg, then i made chris pour me another one (i was apparently snapping at him most of the night, and i am very very sorry for that!) then chris decided to take me home coz i was so fucked. i apparently was trying to storm off but didnt quite manage it coz i was zig zaging all over the place and nearly walked out infront of a car but chris pulled me back. when we got to Kwik Fit i started to cry for about 10 mins, then couldnt get into the house coz i was crying so much. got into the house, liam came into my room to say hey and i cried on him while he was askin chris why i was crying, chris obviously didnt know. dont really know what went on after that, apparently we were in the kitchen makin tea, i spilt it all over the work surface, and then started flirting with chris outragously! so the inevitable happened. cant remember much about it. then we apparently had a deep and meaningful for about 2 hours. and chris now says it was the best chat we've ever had, and i cant FUCKING remember ne of it!!!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSED OFF WITH MYSELF! Loki says: (8:11:14 pm) you were a little difficult to follow, but heres a summary: 1. you don't love me, you love who i used to be 2. you still hurt yourself, mainly when angry at something you can't control, e.g. your father. 4. you think there will always be some link between the two of us, but we worked out today that that is because we flirt SO MUCH and i still don't know why you were crying. WHY THE FUCK WAS I CRYING???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? and so today i had to go do the shameful thing of going to the drop in center and get the morning after pill. oh how fucking stupid am i!!!!!! she was really nice and chris actually came with me this time, and actually appologised which was even nicer. he said he didnt realise i was that drunk when we got back home, and really shouldnt have taken advantage. I am so fucking stupid!!!!!! aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh i really need to sort out my head, coz its so fucking crazed up at the moment! Liam said to me today that he doesnt undrrstand why im alone coz im one of the kindest people he knows an ne one should be dropping everything to be with me, and i said the same to him. we are just really confused at the moment about why shit is happening to us all the time, and why nothing possitive is coming out of it at all!!!!!! WHY? so there we go, think im gonna go catch the rest of invasion with carly now!!!!! Current Mood: oh god (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
12:44 am	Die voices in my head AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse arse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH get out of my fucking head! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
5:38 pm	Poorly Well it started off as a little cough, then into sneezing fits and cough, then sore throat and sneezing fits and cough, and now its headache from hell and sore throat and sneezing fits and cough. my head is pounding about 100 beats a minute and i need to do so much work. I am so sleepy and i have a crit tomorrow and i am crapping myself about it, i really am. My bro has just told me dad has said to him that if he doesnt get a 2:1 at the end of his Psychology degree he will be well angry!!! hummmm ... he hasnt said ne thing like that to me, it could either mean he knows im not very clever, or he has already given up on me getting a good degree!! eek on both counts there me thinks! on a lighter note ... things are finally sorted, i think, with Chris and Me. we have finally decided to "just be friends", and nothing else ... not even when we get drunk! there's still a bit of weird almost flirty banter, but i guess thats gonna happen for a bit, while we get used to things! Loki says:i know we end up in the same predicament, and we shouldn't. we have become safety nets again, because we made cock-ups over christmas In crimson I begin to drown says:and we cant keep leaning on eachother just because we made those cock-ups, but ... i cant help myself!!!! Loki says:neither can i, but we need to get some strength back In crimson I begin to drown says:part of me wants to and the other part of me really doesnt. and my head seems to want to listen to them both at the same time so i can't concentrate! Loki says:i know. but we have been together before, and it doesn't work, and i feel like we're fooling ourselves at the moment In crimson I begin to drown says:we are. we're living in a fantasy world, and the fantasy is better than reality Loki says:i know In crimson I begin to drown says:but we need to bring ourselves back to reality, coz the fantasy is soon gonna turn into a nightmare and i dont think we could cope!!! Loki says:i certainly couldn't, i know my happiness is only temporary In crimson I begin to drown says:i know, and we both know that i can go up and down so easily. my happiness and sanity is a yo-yo!!! Loki says:just like mine. Loki says:lets be fair, we need to end this for our own sakes In crimson I begin to drown says:i know we do so there we go, not sure if chris really wants this posted on the net, but every one pretty much knows whats been goin on ne ways! so now i find myself all alone AGAIN. it sucks big style! right, enough on the feeling sorry for myself thing. am gonna make food! Current Mood: HEADACHE (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
2:50 pm	Very very confused Well, i have been VERY VERY slack recently! I am SHITE!!!! Slack with my LJ, slack with my uni work, slack with getting in touch with old friends ... the works!!!! but i am now back in loverly sunny Exeter ... note the sarcasm please! (Its actually raining ... what a suprise) and got really quite drunk last night!!! Got home Unpacked Phoned Chris, had a bickering session about who was gonna go to who's house! (I won obviously) Chris came round about half an hour later Went to the shop round the corner to get dinner and beer Started drinking Ate pizza (have no idea why im writing all this but there we go!) Played Poker Drank more Smoked LOADS Played Star Wars Monopoly Drank more Then ... sorta did something that i shouldnt have and COMPLETELY broke my New Years Resolution. And now im very pissed off with myself for it because im worried that it's just gonna happen over and over again and it's really not gonna help me in the slightest! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So so so sorry!!!! It shouldn't have happened, and half of me is so intent on never making it happen again, but then again the other half is saying ... if it happens it happens, and you cant do ne thing about it! HA! God damn my brain, ne one wanna exchange for a while??? or ne one know any good brain doctors who can sort it out? for free preferably! right, enough of my rant and rave ... must get on with work, bollocks! Current Mood: WHAT???? Current Music: Trivium (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
6:51 pm	Hungover and excited about goin home tomorrow! Well ... last night was fun. Went to the SU christmas party in Plymouth. got there at bout 6, had a champaigne reception, then went to get dinner. had LOADS of food. Beef roast, then chocolate fudge cake with clotted cream on top, then cheese and biscuits. there were at least 10 bottles of free red/white wine, and then we were only supposed to get 2 bottles of port, but Alan (Pres) gave us 3 more!!! on top of that i was drinking G&T's like they had gone out of fashion. we went to walkabout .... it is fucking huge!!!!! attempted to pull Kris Talikowski, the Finance and Comms sab from our uni. almost worked but i had to get back to the bus. he did tell me to give him a call after christmas tho and we will meet up, so ... yey, not sure if he has a girlfriend tho. will be well upset if he does! me and chris have decided to finish things off for good. we were getting into a rut which was very difficult to get out of and it sorta felt like we were goin out again, so we finished it the other day. do feel a hell of a lot better for it. a bit scared coz i am completely alopne now, and havent been for nearly a year, but ... meh, shit happens:) righty then, i am gonna go and drink more me thinks, and maybe think about how im gonna pull Kris (what is it with me and chris' at the moment??? hehe) xxxx Current Mood: oh so full of food!!!!!! Current Music: mix (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 11th, 2005
5:32 pm	Just found that my chinese name would be Kai-Hui Mao!!! which is pretty cool! cant be arsed to write ne more yet now, will write later! Current Mood: meh Current Music: my chemical romance (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
12:14 pm	Punch me, punch me, punch me. Dont really know what i want to write today. Am a bit confused at the moment im not wholely happy, but then again im not sad either, just feeling a bit numb and dont really know why. I mean, nothing has gone completely wrong in my life recently, but ... nothing has made it totally amazing either ... hense the numb thing. Hate feeling like this, like there isnt ne thing going on in my head or heart and i dont feel alive. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH I need to get out of here, out of every thing and find myself again. just feel like im a walking corpse at the moment, not knowing who i am, or where im going. How ever much i try to help people it never makes me feel better coz there's always one who i cant get through to and it kills me. people keep telling me to stop trying to help everyone and try to help myself for a while, but i cant really do that. i dont feel like i deserve to help myself. What can you do tho hey? I feel like i want to scream and shout and hit things and go completely out of control just to make people understand that i am human and that i cant give them all the answers coz im exactly like them. i know i am completely contradicting myself here but i dont care. my head is full of contradictions and i cant sort them out and it gives me a mental headache 24/7. Just dont really understand why i am feeling like i am at the moment. I am really confused, and really hate it!!!meh. righty ho, enough of my rant. some one please come and punch me in the head! Current Mood: humph Current Music: The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
9:53 pm	My Brain is seeping out of my ear!!! i dont know where i am at the moment and it is driving me insane! my work is shite ... like, really shite, and i have no impulse to do any of it, what so ever. why am i being so crap with this? people keep saying that im good, and that i can do it and stuf, but sometimes i just feel like im doing it for my mum and dad, and thats not the right way to think about things. i have been sat at this computer for about 6 hours, and i have done hardly ne thing coz i just have no inspiration to think of. i dont want to do any work coz it's boring, and shit and i hate it with a passion. me and chris were talking about uni and stuff last night while getting very drunk, as you have read earlier on today, and i have ideas for my next project which is well good, i am on track with my dissertation ... SO WHY CANT I DO THIS FUCKING PROJECT NOW??????????????? oh for fuck sake chloe stop being a stupid bitch and just get on with it ... may have to go and make some food first tho, havent had anything since ... um ... bout 1.30!!! oopsie. well, last night was interesting to say the least, found out a lot of thigs about myself, with the help of chris, and it sort of makes a lot more sense to me about who i am. i am still confused about whats going on with us ... we've talked about it and said that we arent going out, if we were it would be shite again, so we are doing prety much exactly what people in relationships do, apart from the touchy feely cuddly thing, and actually saying we are together! it feels so much easier than being in a relationship. we also said that we should have met eachother in about 5 years time, then we would be a lot more sorted out in our own heads and we could actually think about some one else, compared to now, when we can't even think about ourselves properly. which is another thing thats gettin me down ... friends ... or so called friends who reel off all their problems to me and dont actually let me get a word in edge ways about how i am feeling about my life at that time. i really dont know how i do it, do i have a huge flashing light above my head saying ... come speak to me, i will listen for free, and want nothing back!!!!!!!?????? im getting myself into a state coz it's FUCKING ME OFF to god damn much. the only problem is that when i do give myself a bit of time to actually do something for me for a change, and turn my fone off, or onto silent ... i still can't get away from it coz i then feel guilty about it all and i shouldn't. i know i shouldn't but i do. why are people so fucking self-absorbed. you think that they are your best friends, and they then shit on you from a great height when they know they have you wrapped round their little finger, and only see ou when they want some one to come round and listen to their pittiful problems. so liam ... when you read this ... i know exactly what you mean, i can empathise, and sympathise, coz it happens to me ALL the time. and i know that you have had people in the past saying that they will be there for you and they have turned round and not been there for you but ... skrew them ... you known im here for you, even if it is to just make shite loads of cups of coffee!!! on a lighter note, have just had a fone call off my friends tristan from home and he has cheered me up no end, cant wait to go home and see everyone. just sort of need to go home and sort out a lot of things that are going on in my head at the moment as you can probably tell!!! righty then, may go and actually make something to eat now, am well hungry!!! Current Mood: bleugh (4 Comments |Comment on this)
11:13 am	Aw Aw Aw Aw Aw Aw Aw Aw my head hurts and my legs feel like they are goinna turn to jelly ne time now. mmmmmm cup of tea, its soooo gooooood. righty then ... here's my next installment of the poems. Where am I? What is it that I am to do? Time is running out I can’t stand still My life is in turmoil Nothing makes sense I can’t think straight Let me be at rest My heart is in pieces My skin crawling all over Why can’t I run? Why can’t I breathe? The air is closing in I don’t know who I am Help me, please help me But no one can. think i am gonna go die now. aw, aw, aw Current Mood: hungover more like Current Music: The Killers (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
11:19 pm	blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah right, been looking at my posts for ages and realised that ive been really shit about writing in it, so ... am writing a post now!!! have been writing a lot of poems recently which has been really good for me. i love writing, just dont have enough time, so have let myself have a couple of days off to actually do something i want to do for myself! so here goes, here's one of them, its a bit depressing but i like it, and it sorta means a lot to me coz ive been through it before. The pain in my heart gets stronger, I can’t break free, My thoughts take over, Sanity is lost. I need to feel again, So I know I am alive, Why can’t I stop? Let me live again. Blood trickles and falls, Spreading oh so slowly, I must be alive, Why am I so empty inside? Pain subsides, What have I done? Another mark, Another deception. so, there we go. if ne one actually reads this ... let me know what you think!!! am sat with Chris atm, just chillin out and stuff. he's been fucking amasing recently, and seems to be the only person that i can truely talk to. maybe apart from liam, but we only talk properly when we are real drunk, but Chris ... i feel like he's my soul mate. even though we arent going out ne more. which i am now completely happy with. there was a time not long ago when i was really het up about it all and couldn't really cope with it all but now ... i couldn't ask for how things are going ne other way. the amount of times we have now both said that things are better now compared to when we were actually together is unbelievable. but its all good:) righty then, i will post more of my poems as soon as i write them!!! chat later xxxxxxx Current Mood: drunk Current Music: none, watching films (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 20th, 2005
12:36 pm	This is the last one, i promise!!!! <td align="center">Death through freak supernatural incident You are going to die in a freak vampire/werewolf incident. I would start carrying garlic and silver bullets if I were you. There is something weird about your demeanor, and evil is attracted to you. Plus you may be a little attracted to evil too. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td> (Comment on this)
12:25 pm	<td> <table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000"> Your arch-nemesis is: Bender Why? Because they tried to steal your identity The winner will be... You will join forces to conquer good Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com </td> </table> (Comment on this)